


HoPe?

by memgril



Category: Undertale
Genre: Angst, Complete, Completed, Depression, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, OOC?, Oneshot, Reader Is Frisk, Sadness, Slight swearing, Suicidal Reader, Suicide Attempt, Underground, depressed reader, small hints of sans/reader, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 17:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11764890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memgril/pseuds/memgril
Summary: "don’t you dare.”You didn’t expecthim, of all people, especially at this time of night.





	HoPe?

**Author's Note:**

> this is NOT healthy. i wouldn't recommend speaking to someone in reader's place like sans did. seek help if you need it. it will fucking get better and i thought that was bullshit until i tried it.

"don’t you dare.” 

You didn’t expect _him_ , of all people, especially at this time of night. 

Quick images flashed through your mind: you silently getting up from the ratty green couch, you practicing your ninja dodging skills as you made your way through the room, you slowly opening the door, you cursing yourself when the door decided to speak out, you wincing at the biting cold, you gently closing the door, you breaking out into a run. 

You made sure you were completely silent. You didn’t take anything with you. Nobody should have woken up. You made sure of it yourself; crushing sleeping pills in Sans’ ketchup and Papyrus’ spaghetti should’ve made you feel guilty, yet you only felt that euphoric sense of calmness. Everything was going to be alright. Everything was finally going to be at peace. _You_ were going to be at peace.

It was the perfect night. Snowdin was stuck in a perpetual state of winter, snowstorms and blizzards as common as clouds in April. Or, it would be, if there were clouds. You still weren’t used to the lack of things above you, oftentimes finding yourself searching the ‘sky’ for a sun to try and warm you up. Feeling the sun’s warm rays always made things a little easier to deal with; it lightened the weight that was always on your shoulders. 

It was quiet. Perhaps _too_ quiet. What you had first thought of as a good sign was quickly revealing itself to be anything but. Too caught up in your own paranoia, you failed to realize that your footsteps could easily be followed since there was not a single breeze in sight. For once you allowed the cold air to stay in your lungs for longer than what you normally would, right until you felt them screaming at you. 

In hindsight, maybe you should’ve expected it after all. You were a human thrust in a world full of monsters. You were weak. You were dumb. You could easily be killed. Besides, you were the seventh human. You were exactly what the monsters needed to get out, the last piece of the puzzle. Your body was the only thing keeping the monsters caged in, also serving as the perfect cage for your mind.

You never understood why they wanted to leave so badly. You tried telling them about the horrors of the modern world; of the wars and the corruption and the politics. You filled them in on the essential parts of history that they were blissfully ignorant about. You _tried_ , but it was like you were screaming and ranting at a wall. Monsters were everything that humans wanted to be; they were literal magical beings literally made out of compassion and kindness. They are the girls and humans are the boys; they are the ones made of sugar, spice and everything nice. 

They didn’t deserve the hatred and racism that was surely going to meet them on the other side. 

And despite all your effort, they were still _determined_ to break the barrier that was keeping them in. That was _protecting_ them. But they couldn’t see it. They couldn’t understand. 

Fine. Who were you to deny them? You’d kill two birds with one stone. That way everyone can be happy. 

You didn’t want to look at him. You had only met him a few weeks ago, half-frozen to death. Papyrus, his brother, was too kind and pure for this world. He, along with Sans, essentially became your sun. They were there to project their warmth onto you, welcoming a total stranger and, more importantly, an enemy into their life. They welcomed you with open arms and you completely rejected them. 

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. 

“Oh?” your voice was hoarse and as cracked as your blood red soul. Would that be considered irony or destiny? “And if I do?” You looked around for what must have been the hundredth time. 

You had found this place while on ‘patrol’ with Papyrus. Never mind the fact that you were technically trying to find and _capture_ humans, you enjoyed the challenge of re-calibrating puzzles. Plus, Snowdin, like the rest of the Underground, was filled to the brim with secrets. Little alcoves and secret tunnels and ledges made up the edges, and you made it your goal to find all of them. It was something akin to a game that you played with Papyrus. Of course, he ‘won’ almost all the rounds, but you were still able to surprise him occasionally. This was one of your first finds: a small little ledge with a killer view of Snowdin Town. Directly below was the forest, which never seemed as welcoming as it did now. 

Still, your ‘baby steps’ turned out to be more of ‘giant leaps for mankind’ and you quickly found yourself overwhelmed with everything that was going on. It was sometimes hard to believe what you landed yourself into; barely a month ago you were on the surface, trudging through your daily life with as little social interaction as possible, feeling miserable and lonely. 

“i won’t let you.” Sans’ voice was also cracking. You almost scoffed; you barely knew each other, for god's sake! He can’t claim _anything_. 

“B-but you need m-me. My s-soul. To break the b-barrier.” Your fingers were shaking and you hugged yourself, running a soft tongue over solid lips to try and regain feeling in them. Maybe instead of jumping you could complete the process of freezing. Surviving _again_ was not a part of your plans. Well, you didn’t have any plans after this. There wouldn’t be something called ‘plans’ when you were in the afterlife. Besides, the ‘next great adventure awaits' and all that bullshit. 

“cut the crap. you know _exactly_ what will happen if you jump,” he replied, making white hot rage start boiling in the bottom of your stomach. How dare he speak as if it will all be alright! You were going to kill yourself, dammit! You were going to kill yourself and you will _stay_ dead. 

“I don’t want to continue anymore. I want to q-quit.” You noticed how your voice had gone quiet. It felt resolute. You truly believed that you were never going to return. You were never going to have to go through the indescribable agony of loading a save again, never going to have to repeat the same actions that you did a few minutes ago, never going to have to fake reactions and flirts and acts. 

“and what about me? papyrus? toriel? the other monsters? what about them? what do you think will happen to us?” You had only seen his pupils go dark and his voice drop a few octaves precisely _one_ time, when you first met each other. You still remember falling on your back and shaking too hard that you almost took his entire hand off. 

But what he said made you stop. If you were to quit, would you really take _everyone_ else with you? That was entirely the opposite of what you were trying to do! You were supposed to be out of the picture so that everyone else had room to breathe freely. 

Oh god. How _selfish_ were you?

“how do you think papyrus will react? how do you think _i_ will react?” Sans was merciless. He was right. If you died you would take everyone with you an-

You failed to notice the fact that you were slowly slipping, moving closer to the edge. One inch later, and you were too late. 

“SANS!” you screamed, wildly flailing around. You were falling. You were _falling_. 

You didn’t want to fall anymore. 

You didn’t want to die. 

You were so selfish. 

You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for impact, your soul _thrumming_ against your chest, and just as you hi-

You gasped when you felt a light weight on your chest, different from the one that you were used to. It felt… warm? Good? It made you nervous, and you resumed your flailing only to stop after noticing a light blue aura surrounding your body. You were… floating? 

A moment later you found yourself wedged between certain skeletal ribs, and a second moment later you found yourself on a familiar worn green couch. Still dazed from what had just happened, you stayed limp, allowing warmth to heat your frozen body. You would have smiled if you could, starting to feel sleepy. Once you could feel your body, you started to struggle against your captor. The arms that were previously encircling you quickly loosened and you scrambled to the other end, as far away as you could. 

After a few moments of silence your heartbeat gradually slowed and you tried to breathe evenly, something which you were clearly failing at. You didn’t know how much time had passed. You were so grateful that Sans didn’t talk or move, clearly waiting for you to start the conversation. … What were you supposed to say? To do? 

“Sorry,” you finally whispered, looking down at your lap. You didn’t know you were crying until a few drops fell from your cheeks and onto your hands. You could feel the stains on your cheeks, could see them, illuminated and on clear display, a stark contrast against your flushed features. You could taste the combination of salt and sorrow. 

Suddenly, you were all too aware that the couch was shaking. No, it was _trembling_. You mustered the courage to look at Sans. Nothing, even almost killing yourself, could have prepared you for the sight. Sans was crying blue tears, his face a mixture of blue and white. His skull shone. And he was shaking so hard that his hoodie had fallen off. You opened your mouth to say something, but- 

“SANS? HUMAN? WHAT IS GOING ON?” Papyrus’ voice was not as loud as in the day, something which you were immensely glad for, but it still felt like the sound barrier was shattered. Both you and Sans winced and Papyrus’ face fell. 

“we’re good, paps. don’t worry about it,” Sans finally said, although even a Dummy would’ve been able to realize how fake his smile was. Papyrus caught it instantly. 

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM KNOWLEDGEABLE IN ALL FORMS OF AILMENTS AND THEIR SPECIFIC TREATMENTS. I KNOW JUST THE THING.” With that, Papyrus turned and went to the kitchen, turning on the light. The whole house was quiet apart from the various sounds coming from Papyrus. You felt like you were suffocating. 

It felt like hours before a steaming mug of hot cocoa was gently pushed in your hands. Your hands eagerly absorbed the heat and the smell of chocolate and marshmallows was thick in the air. You were so thankful for Papyrus. You saw Sans take a small sip from his cup, still not looking up. 

Papyrus sat in the middle on the couch and you saw him fumble with his hands before setting them on this lap. He opened his mouth a few times but always closed it before any sound came out. Finally, “WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO WATCH ONE OF METTATON’S FILMS WITH ME? THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.” 

You’ve never heard him use this tone before. It was almost gentle, warmer than the hot cocoa and giving you more comfort than food ever will. You still haven’t moved or made an effort to taste the cocoa.

He picked a movie and you didn’t really pay attention, your mind still reeling with that had just transpired. What could you do now? You were stuck Underground, and from what you had gathered, it was more likely that you would die of old age before another human fell. Monsters have been stuck underground for centuries now and it would be natural that they would have tired _everything_ in their power to somehow get out. If _magic_ isn’t able to do it, then what can? 

You were still filled with _other_ questions and were currently not speaking to the only person who could have answers. First and foremost, what was that blue aura? The floating? How did you get to the house so quickly? Was that magic? You _knew_ that this wasn’t some strange dream. 

You grasped the remote and powered off the ancient television. Papyrus didn’t say a word. You were growing concerned; Papyrus always has something to say. Sans still looked miserable. You felt guilt stabbing your soul over and over and over- 

“stop.” 

Both you and Papyrus whipped your heads towards Sans. 

“i can’t bare to look at your soul anymore. stop doing this to yourself.” He spoke again, almost muttering to himself, “the scars. the scars.” His lids closed, and he was finally asleep. 

“MY BROTHER DOES NOT HAVE THE BEST ENDURANCE, I ADMIT,” Papyrus said in an almost _normal_ volume. “MAGIC QUICKLY EXHAUSTS HIM.” You didn’t want to talk, but you knew that you never would if you didn’t do it now. 

“I tried. To jump, I mean,” you started, your voice still shaking, ”and I slid off. Carried by blue, then found myself back home.” Sans used magic on you and somehow caught you and pretty much _teleported_ you home. You had no idea that Sans could do that kind of magic, not being one to openly use it. You knew that he was more than a comedian, but you didn’t quite expect this. 

Papyrus moved his right hand to grab your left but immediately let go when you flinched away from him. Instead, he gently moved his brother closer to him and almost started to cuddle. Sans, who was moving around a little and making strange facial expressions, calmed down and started to lightly snore. Poor guy. 

“COME. PLATONIC CUDDLING GOES A LONG WAY IN THE HEALING PROCESS,” Papyrus opened his free arm, ready to let you in, but you were still uncomfortable. All your senses were still on high alert. You were on edge. Metaphorically. 

You took a sip from your almost-cold hot cocoa, and immediately, you were hit with a wave of lethargy. What? You could have sworn that there was no chance of you sleeping, your thoughts running high-speed marathons multiple times throughout your mind. Unless…. 

You felt Papyrus _nyeh-heh-heh_ and take the mug away from you, the bastard just waiting for the moment when- 

You completely relaxed into your seat, the pillows and blankets never feeling as comfortable as they did now. You couldn’t not doze off. 

In the morning, you found yourself in tangled in a pile of skeleton and human, and slowly but surely, you were filled with _HoPe_.


End file.
